According to Lundagård’s survey, being an exchange or international student and having a relationship is not always easy but it is worth the fight. 9 out of 10 students do not regret having a long distance relationship while studying abroad.
The survey was made by Lundagård and sent to 1128 international students at Lund University. 303 of them answered the survey. The survey shows that 61,5 percent of students are not in a relationship in Lund. For those who are in a relationship, three quarters did not come to Lund with their partner.
“I miss my boyfriend so much but since I’m here our relationship is stronger,” one of the surveys says.
Thanks to new communications, such as Skype, Viber and Whatsapp, long distance relationships are easier as indicated by the survey. Those surveyed manage to see their partner once every month and one third has a partner who came to Lund at least once. While some do not have the luck to see each other because they are both studying abroad, e.g. one in the US, the other one in Sweden; some chose to stay in nearby destinations, e.g. one in Copenhagen, the other one in Lund.
The results clearly indicate that people do not regret their choice of staying together. For those who regret it, it is mostly because they want to indulge “vividly [in] all the experience that [is] involved [in] moving to another country” if they were single. This question was controversial since some answers were “yes and no”.
One student gave his/her outlook on this:
“A relationship during Erasmus is definitely not easy, especially when you can’t see each other during the semester abroad. […] In my opinion, it depends a lot on how long you have been in this relationship before starting your semester abroad.”
“Trust. Stay busy. Love. (And Skype ha ha!)”
This is one of many completed answers that summarizes the general advice.
“Let the partner get to know your friends and your environment, that helps a lot in increasing understanding for your situation,” answered another one. “Patience”, “trust”, “communication”, “honesty” are the most common tips given by the surveyed.
The survey shows that students really think of their distance relationship
“really try to see your relationship through your partner’s eyes […] it is the most important thing to understand the difficulties on the other side as well as explaining your own problems which you face.”
90 percent can imagine starting a relationship here
71.4 percent of exchange/international students who arrived as singles in Lund and are now in a relationship believe their relationship to be ‘not serious’. Instead of coming for the country and its culture, nearly 2 out of 10 single students from abroad came to Lund for the Swedes and a dating prospect.
Hi there…
Photo: Private
… Laura Ulysse is an exchange student; she studies in her third bachelor year in Lund, at the Department of Psychology. She has been in a relationship for two and a half years.
How do you manage to see your partner?
Before leaving for Sweden, we decided together to see each other every month and a half. The second time when he came to Sweden (end of October), we could not resist not seeing each other until Christmas, so he came to Lund two weeks ago, as a surprise. For the second semester, we will see each other every month because a month and a half is too hard.
For you, how can a long distance relationship work?
Say everything, and above all, the truth to your partner. When you have some difficulties with your desires and your lack of affection, you have to tell him/her. In this way, s/he can guide you, reason you. Even if you manage to overcome the lack, do not forget and always show affection.
What is the hardest thing in a long distance relationship for you?
I really feel alone in the middle of the semester. There is like a routine being alone and, of course, this lack of affection and contact.
