Satomi Miyata’s stay in Sweden is coming to an end. This is her last piece for this Lundagård’s monthly column. Time goes by.
I still remember when I first arrived in Copenhagen on the evening of the 31st of July last summer. And my next move, I was jumping on a train to Odense in Denmark to meet my friend. Vast grass fields passing by my eyesight. No change of scenery was somehow very soothing at the time. Grass fields shining gold with the reflection of the dazzling sunshine.
I remember a small conversation on the train with a lady with a little kid. She was complaining that it is difficult to put her kid to sleep during summer in Denmark because it gets dark so late that it gives the kid the excuse to stay up. “Mom, it is still not dark. At night when it gets dark, we go to bed, right?” The concept of fixed time doesn’t make sense to him. What a great life, I thought.
I visited my friend’s friend’s apartment in Copenhagen last weekend. It was a beautiful apartment. It was simple, but you could see the effort put into that space, not in an extravagant way but in a very discreet way. It was nothing but their space. In the morning, a couple of blocks away from the apartment, there was a nice and cozy café. We had a big breakfast there, a kind of breakfast that lasts you for the rest of the day. Such breakfast that has the potential of inviting you to another beautiful day of Scandinavian summer if you are “lucky”. (Scandinavian summer doesn’t always treat you well.) Even if you are not lucky, that gives you an excuse to stay in your nice apartment and just do nothing. What a great life, I thought.
“People have a ‘better’ life here.” This is probably what I would have said before I came here, using a comparative term rather than just saying “they have a ‘great’ life.” But then I reached to the point where I thought my passive stance/perception towards Sweden should be challenged. It is both no good for Swedes and non-Swedes living in Sweden. If I like living in Sweden just because I have a “relatively” better life here, this does not get me anywhere. Then every time I am unhappy, I would have to comfort myself, “ you have a “better” life after all in Sweden than in Japan.” But how do you know it is “better”?
The trouble with relativeness and comparative thinking is that you judge and place whatever you are comparing in order with external criteria. Say life in Sweden is better because of high level of gender equality, free education, relaxing lifestyle, some stupid world ranking on happiness and etc. Basing your happiness on some external factors is very vulnerable way of perceiving your life, in my opinion. This type of thinking from foreigners towards Swedes could also to some extent give Swedes a sense of superiority. But is this the way you settle with your life? I am not sure.
I am going back to my country in one month. I am going to start my life afresh without making miserable comparisons.
