The biggest trauma, the greatest shock. Seeing that the one that you thought were the most generous person of them all was just a fake. Tobias Stefansson remember with horror the insight that changed his life.
Some experiences in life change everything. I’m thinking of when my first sibling was born (and my second, and my third), when I fell in love for the first time, and when I fell in love for real for the first time. However, the most pivotal moment of my life is not a happy memory, but a traumatic one.
I was four, maybe five years old. It was Christmas Eve and everything was wonderful. There was excitement in the air, because soon he’d be here: the man with the Christmas gifts. Suddenly the doorbell rang. I jumped to my feet, so excited that I nearly expired.
But upon laying eyes on Santa I noticed something was amiss. Wasn’t his physique a bit off? What was up with his voice? And where did Grandma go?
The shocking truth dawned upon me. Grandma was Santa! Santa was Grandma! I started bawling like a baby, feeling let down by the entire adult world. My life had been a lie.
A few weeks later I was back at kindergarten and took it upon myself to enlighten the masses. I told everyone that Santa wasn’t real and that you’d have to be a moron to believe in him. The teachers tried to stop me, but there was no suppressing the truth.
I believe this trauma has affected my personality to this day. For instance, I am highly skeptical of unsubstantiated claims, like God being real, that lowering the sales tax for restaurants has increased employment rates, and the existence of horses.
Text: Tobias Stefansson
Translator: Jesper Lodin
