Swedish privates

When Joanna Tsai first discovered Jantelagen, she looked upon it as a restriction. But after a year in Sweden, she has realised that it is healthy to feel worthy without having to show off.

To an inexperienced American, from the outside the common large 70s/80s style block housing flats in Sweden look like crap- they’re unimaginative in shape and color and not even spaced out much even though Sweden is a big country.

It is absolutely shocking to step inside one of these flats to see a beautifully decorated and modern interior; all of the Swedish flats I’ve seen are really nice.

I have told my Swedish friends to invite more people over and I always get a confusingly unenthusiastic response.  This is a compliment to an American because we like showing off and appearances matter (fashion is the glaring exception), especially concerning family life.

The ‘American Dream’ (nice house with a front yard, backyard, dog, mother, father, car, and 2.5 children) still influences people- we succeed then show it.

Do Swedes not care what people think, are there other ways to show success?

I believe that Jantelagen is the reason; this is the unwritten social rule that you should not show that you are better than the average person in any way.  People are still ambitious and proud of their accomplishments but are hindered here by social restrictions.

At least this seems like a restriction to me, especially if you’re applying to study or work abroad where you must emphasize how unique and better than everyone else you are.

However, after living in Sweden for almost a year, I realize how healthy it is to feel worthy and successful without having to be the best.

It is said in the US, “If you’re not first, you’re last.”  It hit me when a friend in the US told me about their last exam grade, what it meant for their GPA (grade point average), what the class average was, how their friends did, and whether the teacher was going to curve (making the highest student score 100% for a hard test so fewer people flunk).

This transported me back to college when people freaked out about grades (especially the pre-med majors since they have to get top grades in the US) and how competitiveness can be very unhealthy in the US.

For example, I’ve heard of parents paying their kids for every “A” or students taking pills to stay awake all night to study.

While it may be true that Swedes show off just as much but in more subtle ways, I still think the attitude is healthier here concerning what, how, and the importance of success.

Sweden is a strange but a home-away-from-home once you drop all your American cut-throat behavior and detrimental self-worth issues.

I’ve heard people (non-Swedes AND Swedes) say that all Swedes are the same, but I’m sorry you’re just wrong, if you’re not going to judge a book by its cover, don’t do it to Swedes.